Saturday, 27 October 2012

Hi guys! I know I've been lazy about updating this, but the truth is that I haven't had much time either.

Ceren (the other volunteer) and I feel like in a socializing marathon: WE NEED TO MEET PEOPLE AND MAKE FRIENDS! and those things take time and effort - there's a lot of small talk to be done and awkward silences to fill.

But seriously, in the first weeks I was having a hard time coping with that beginning awkardness, when you're starting to get to know someone. All the initial shyness and pauses in conversation. 
People, how do you deal with the awkard silences?  Honestly, how???

Last time I was with Telmo, before he left to Berlin, he was telling me about a birthday party he went to, where everybody was kind of quiet and conversation wasn't really quicking in.. Telmo, like me, feels physicly disturbed with unconfortable silences. He gets all itchy and has to say something, anything!

"So, can you imagine your parents having sex?"

Apparently, after he said that, everyone was grossed out, laughing: "eeeeugh! don't put those images in my head!!" Some even had funny stories about catching their mum and dad in the action.  

Everybody relaxed and spent the rest of the night chatting merryfully. - All thanks to Telmo and his filthy mind.

When he told me this, I remembered our first year of university, when we all met.

Everyone ate lunch in the school canteen and, for some reason, fecal vomit was one of the most recurrent topics of conversation.  I have no idea how it first came about. It's the most desgusting thing to talk about while eating, but that's exactly why we loved to bring it up, as soon as we run out of things to say to each other
Later it became a game. If you were in a party, dinner, or some social gathering, and the crowd suddenly went quiet, you had to count to ten and then scream: "FECAL VOMIT".

Works everytime. 


More recently, about a year ago, I was going to Ezstergom with Sarah and Jen, and the latter was telling us she had reached a point in her life where she was ok about being embarassed in front of other people.."I would go eat spaguetti on a first date. I'ts the messiest, most embarassing thing to eat in front of someone you want to impress. There's no way you can look cool while slurping pasta, and we could both laugh about it. Because after you feel awkward, it really can't get worse and you actually start bounding." 

The only good thing about unconfortable silences is that they are generally mutual. The other person is feeling it too and probably thinking desperatly of something to say, just as much as you.
I reckon unless you're super social and easy-going, meeting new people always comes with those annoying parts of not feeling very confortable yet, and the trick is just admitting, and laughing it out.

but that's easier said than done.
so if you guys have any tips like the slurping-pasta or parental-sex ones, please share the knowledge with me.

1 comment:

  1. even in erasmus i had this weird karma of becoming best friends with my next door neighbours so all we had to do was knock and ask "hi, wanna hang out in my place?" and that was it. Then I went back home and we did the same with other neighbours.
    soooo my tip for you: knock at your neighbours and offer gluten free muffins while trying not to make a creepy look. It should do the trick!
    If not