Monday, 18 March 2013

On Coffee

In Berlin people gesticulate a lot when explaining the flavors present in your coffee. You're also considered to be very cool if you adjectivate your coffee, specially after drinking it and while returning your cup to the hipster coffeeshop owner.

The adjective doesn't necessarily have to match the reality, you just need to come up with something nice (nice? Telmo!) and serious enough in order to convince. Even if the owner doesn't agree with your point of view he won't tell you that, instead he will take it as a perspective. Afterall nobody knows how your tastebuds work, right?

— Oh yeah, I chose this one because the other ones were more than five euros. Oh yeah, it was slightly sour with some notes of red fruits and hazelnuts.

It's also very uncomfortable to drink your coffee because you feel pretty much observed by the people behind the counter. As if they were trying to read in your eyes if the roasting process was done nicely or if the infusion was made at the right temperature and the right time. The slightest wrong expression can be dangerous and result in the owner coming to your table and ask:

— Excuse me sir, is there something wrong with your coffee? We apologize if the taste is not accurate enough, we've been trying to improve the infusion since we're working with different roasteries and suppliers.

To which you have to answer:

— Everything is fine compared to the Mokambo I'm used to! Oh no, don't worry, it's perfect! I love its sourness with some notes of red fruits and hazelnuts. Trust me, all the flavors are in there.

The coffee that is said to be the best in town is always, for some weird reason, served in the coffeshops from which hipsters can easily be seen from the storefront windows. People grab their coffees on the counter and go sit, strategically, by the windows, pretending they're in the middle of their work break, when in fact it's monday 10am and you know that their still searching for an internship and seeking for a sex partner.

As soon as you finish your coffee, someone would immediately come to take away your cup so that you either buy something else or just go away. The secret here is to drink it slowly, as if you were a coffee connoisseur, when it fact the reality is that you're broke, with no job and no sex, and it's so fucking cold outside that that little cup of hipster coffee is your only hope of postponing your miserable life.

1 comment:

  1. eu quero ler mais coisas neste blog e já passou tanto tempo desde o último post... vá lá..