AIN'T NO TONICHA

Zé told me food in Lithuania is great. Apparently, his lithuanian flatmate always brought her suitcase full of food, coming back from vacations. I smiled at him and said "oh, lucky me!" but I really didn't believe it.

Guys, let me tell you something,

there is only one portuguese stereotype I allow myself to have:

I firmly believe that food in every other country on this planet sucks.

I can't help it. I'm gastronomic prejudiced. No food is like my mum's food.


I didn't think I would be like this, you know... I used to hear people say the thing they missed the most about Portugal was the food and I would think, all smugly,"Oh, these simple-minded people. They can't adapt, they're so bound to their roots."

Then I went to live abroad,
and became one of them. I missed it so much I planned everything I was going to eat the week I came back. My mom filled the freezer with fish, upon my arrival.

Part of this longing had a lot to do with the fact that I was simply getting sick all the time, with the food in Budapest. After two or three months I got to a point of despair calling my mum on skype barely holding the tears: "I'M SICK OF FEELING SICK! I WANNA GO HOOOOOOME"

This happened for various reasons, partly my fault, partly hungary's fault. (yes hungary! i'm talking to you!)

1 - first of all, genetics ain't helping me. I come from a long line of people with digestive problems and food intolerances. It's our thing. We all get sick with food. Our tummies rumble in unisom. Our stomaches ache together. Our livers are weird and lack enzimes.
Also, moving to a different country had a real impact in my whole body. I didn't even get my period for the first 3 months I was there! For a moment I thought I was carrying baby Jesus.

2- I  wanted to try new food that eventually didn't do me any good.
Top of my oh-god-i-wish-i-hadn't-ate-that list: LANGOS

(it's like, a pizza made of churro's dough. I honestly think my life expectancy dropped after I ate that.)

3 - It took me ages to realise minimarkets there weren't as reliable and the meat I was buying was kind of dodgy. When I finally got chicken from big market place I could almost hear a choir singing.

Nevertheless, I reckon I also missed the food back home because it was the first time I was cooking all my meals. Every day. Weekends included.

And I'm a lazy cook.

I have no imagination. My ideal meal is just cutting everything in small pieces and cooking it all together in a pan/ pot.
The less trouble the better. Why cook it separately? It's all going to end up together anyway!


that's what eventualy lead to the PURPLE INCIDENT:
(see how I wrote in purple the "purple incident"? that's the kind of subtlety they teach us in design school.)

I really didn't think it through as I put everything I had in the fridge in the boiling water. Potatos, carrot, onions, parsnip, paprika, meat.. and then I added beetroot. 

When I peeked inside the pot, after a while, I had a huge chock: Everything had turned purple. Everything. 

It looked awfull! 
But no way I'm throwing away good food just because it looks like someone drank too much grape juice and threw up they're dinner afterwards.
















I ate it proudly and saved the rest in the fridge for the next day.

Anyway, I'm telling you about this disastrous cooking moment to make you understand how hysterically amused I got, when I searched lithuanian food on google and this was the first thing that popped up in the image search.

Maybe Zé is right. I'm going to fit in that country like a glove.