Wednesday, 28 August 2013

Tiny Furniture

I wanted to write something full of bright shiny feelings about being back, summing up Vilnius and celebrating new beginnings. The kind of thing one would want to read in that voice-over tone they always do in the end of a Grey's Anatomy episode.

Turns out I can't.
I'm thrilled about being back, but at the same time not at all.
I've been struggling with this midterm of, not completly here, but not there anymore, and feeling kind of lonely and weird.

On top of that,
It seems like everyone else has plan, and a job, and a house, and a cat.
I only have the latter, and it doesn't even care for me all that much.

what are you going to do now?" 

I've been asked by everyone about what I'll do next, and am trying to convince myself that saying "I'm taking a month or two, to focus on my art" doesn't make me sound like a complete slacker.

In a moment of panicky ansiety about the future I wrote to Anna explaining "it's like this weird moment that feels like everything is possible and I don't even know where to start looking." I'm perplexed with all the sides this could take, and scared of failing. Right now, stoping for a bit and watching the entire first season of Orange Is the New Black, on my pyjamas, seems like it's the only sane decision I can make.

BUT, moving on to people that are actually making tremendous changes,
João is leaving to Switzerland, today!
We met for 2 days, in Porto, and he's going for 2 years.

This sucks,
it's no fun to come back and have to do goodbyes again. I'll miss him more, now I'm here.
but I know he's going to have a great time in his fancy master studies, and I'm super-excited to hear about the apartment-search adventures, in Luzern!

à bientôt!

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