Saturday, 7 September 2013

Let me take you to a gay bar, gay bar. or not. it's fine. we can just go to hesburger. no problem (part 1 of 4)

While in Vilnius I had a personal goal of going to each and every gay bar and write a review on it, to make a sort of LGBT NIGHTLIFE GUIDE.
I was almost sucessfull, and missed only one. ("Girl's Factory".. I'll be back.)

Before you read them, I must warn you that overall I'm not very picky with the places I go out to. I think that even if you're in a lame club you would never choose to go to in a million years (and that goes for a lot of nightclubs in Vilnius), sometimes it just takes the right company to make the most of it. And luckily, I had that. So I would really advise anyone eager to venture the gay clubs in Vilnius to get themselves someone fun to embark that magic-rainbow journey with you.


I went there for its closing party. I've been told they had had a few of them that turned out to be false alarm but, from the look of it, this one was the for once and for all. The place didn't open up again for the rest of my stay in Vilnius. Nevertheless, I chose to include it in the guide because
a) it was the only lesbian club I went to 
b) you never know, it may re-open one day...

It was in Jaksto Gatve, the same street where I worked, and though I passed it everyday I had never noticed the corner with a sign saying KLUBAS. That was Relax.

To get in, you rang the dorbell, a man would open the door for you and LOCK IT AGAIN ONCE YOU'RE INSIDE.

The place vaguely reminded me of the shopping centers they built in Portugal in the late 80's: Mirror walls, glass counter, ugly tiles... Now add to that a disco ball, spray-painted palm trees and a really huge sofa corner that looked like it was stolen from a high school theater production of Dracula.
On top of this.. Christmas decorations! It was December.

 My friend Kathi asked for a gin and tonic and was handed a misterious blue drink that seemed to glow in the dark. You could also ask for tea, and I saw a coffee machine there. Lithuanians aren't that into coffee so spotting an expresso machine, speciallly in a club, was very out of ordinary.

As strange as it may sound, the weirdest thing about that night in Relax, wasn't the place: it was the people.
There were 20 women there, maximum. And they were all couples. Me and Anna were the only single ladies (fact that we celebrated by dancing to Beyonce's hit  in a completly empty dancefloor).

It's not strange that everyone was paired up. The thing is, they LOOKED paired up. They were wearing matching clothes. All of them!
There were two girls in a dark blazer, with long hair. Two with checkered shirts, a beanie and piercings. Two wearing jeans and a hoddie, two with hiking shoes and messenger bags, for God's sake there was even a couple with the exact same tshirt, and it was pretty obvious, it had huge Mickey Mouse printed on it!!

This was really bothering me. Maybe because I have a sister and somehow connect dressing alike to something siblings do, so when I see it in a couple it feels incestuously creepy.
Apparently I was the only one being disturbed by it, when I wispered to my friend Kathi "Have you noticed the couples? They all match" and she shrugged "oh, yeah, that's why I changed my tshirt before coming, I had one like Elena's".

 Rating: **
 I'm giving it two stars because it was the only lesbian place in town (except Girl's Factory, but that's not always open) Also, for the coffee machine and BeyoncĂ©.

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